Scott Pilgrim: A re-retrospective and reflection.

            I go back and forth on how much I actually like the Scott Pilgrim series.  It’s one of those things that triggers the elitist muscle in my brain when I hear people talking about it and I wonder if people understood it the same way I did and do now. I think a lot of people just saw the character as someone like them who got a girl and fought with swords and missed the big point that was left at the end of the series.

            Scott Pilgrim does have a lot in common with a lot of people in my generation, which is what makes him such a phenomenal character. However, what makes him so realistic as a person are his glaring flaws. He’s selfish and self-absorbed. He’s lazy. He doesn’t have a job. He’s a mooch both monetarily and emotionally. Most importantly, Scott exists in a world where he is the protagonist and only is story matters, which is one of those important themes that’s left lying around.

            Memory plays a big part in the story. Both Scott and Ramona are confronting their past relationships. The way Scott remembers things shapes his character, and when the realization of how he has been making the same mistake as Gideon is what allows him to actually see his mistakes and grow from them as a person.

            Memories only ever give one side of the story, and that’s whoever is remembering them. It’s easy to alter what happened to make yourself the victim of the hero, or that everything was some wonderful fairy tale like Scott does. That’s what allows us to look for other people to blame and avoid growing up.

            There is an interesting parallel between him and Gideon that makes the finale. When Scott finally gets it, he grows up over the space of 5 pages.  Brain Lee O’Malley makes it visible on his face. You can see a difference in the way he speaks and the way he looks. The new shirt and new sword and the “power of understanding” are just the trappings of his newfound maturity and his realization that he’s actually done a lot of wrong to a lot of people and he starts to make it right.

            A lot of comics are about growing up and learning to live with your mistakes. That is literally the entire plot of The Amazing Spider-Man. Peter messes up all the time and has clean it up. He’s a superhero because he knows it’s the right thing to do. He isn’t in this for vengeance or power, but because he made a mistake and it cost him his uncle. He grew up when Uncle Ben died and now he does everything he can to make sure that tragedy doesn’t happen to anyone else.

            And that’s growing up. It’s dealing with your mistakes every single day. When Scott confronts his demons (literally) in volume 6 he and Kim have this exchange

K: If you keep forgetting your mistakes, you’ll just keep making them again.

S:  I don’t care! It’s better than having to live with myself!

And Kim’s right. It’s not until Scott actually looks his mistakes dead in the eye that he realized exactly what he’s done and what he needs to do. He starts changing right there. Actually seeing everything you’ve ever done and how it’s affected other people will do that. Change is what we get when we grow up, and sometimes it sucks. Believe me. I’m 21 years old with an English major who cleans hookahs for 7 dollars an hour. In the 4 months I spent without a job I had a lot of time alone to myself to think about a lot of things. Now that I actually have a reason to get out of bed again all of that’s settled and starting to clear up.

One of the reasons I like Scott so much as a character is because I see a lot of myself in him. I get so concerned in my precious little life that I forget that other people actually have feelings. We all want to be the protagonist of the world so badly that we overlook everyone else’s subplot. We let our own stories take over what really happened, and we end up hurting people we care the most about just by being insensitive.

Scott and I learned it the easy way. We’ve both left people feeling terrible and went on our merry way wondering why they were upset. That ex-post facto realization hits like a train. It makes you change your life and try to undo every bit of hurt. But you can’t. There’s no undo button, no control-z. Things can’t be the same, but you can go forward.

On Rebirth

I've written about comic book death before. It's weird, to say the least. People never really stay gone. Of course, they're missed but there is always the possibility of their return. It's a nice thought; that the people you love will be brought back by a Kryptonian regeneration chamber or Lazarus pits. I keep coming back to a Boondocks strip I saw a long time ago. Huey and his friend Caesar are talking:

Caesar: Hey man, are you ok?

Huey: A friend of mine back home just died...I never got to say goodbye, you know? I keep wishing he'll come back as a blue ghost, like Obi-Wan Kenobi. There's so much I want to say to him. [sigh] Why can't life be like Star Wars?

Caesar: Well, then Jar-Jar Binks would be real, and there'd be a bunch of Ewoks running around everywhere - nobody wants that.

Huey: A small price to pay if the people you love could come back as blue ghosts.

It's a poignant point. What would you give to live in a world where death was impermanent?

This is something that has been on my mind a lot. My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer a bit back, and it is terminal. It's weird that I keep coming back to this idea. Perhaps it's a form of denial or maybe I have been reading too much Geoff Johns, but I keep wanting this to be undone by some sort of cosmic magic or mystical power. I know it's futile and probably not healthy, but damn it would be nice.

But on the other hand, the impermanence of life is what makes it valuable. The impending, resounding end is a constant reminder of how we must cherish the little time we have. In these last few months I have become closer with my grandmother than ever. I wish I had earlier, but that's life. You never have as much as you want. C'est la vie, as the French in France would say.

I'd wager I'm just ranting out of hurt or fear, but it's something I think it's hard to rationalize. In an era of instant respawns and extra lives, actual death is hard to come by in the average nineteen year-old's life. It's pretty scary. It'd be a lot easier if the people you love came back as blue ghosts.

This I Believe

I'll say this right out: I believe in Superheroes. This is all figurative, of course, and as much as I'd like to believe in magic rings and mutant x-factors I'm quite aware of the impossibility (though still hopeful). There is no literal Batman, no Metropolis, and as far as we know no S.H.E.I.D Helicarrier. What I do believe in is the ideas represented in the panel of their stories.

I believe in the Green Lantern Corps. They keep peace as bright beacons of courage and honor throughout the galaxy. Theirs is a story of overcoming fear and tragedy to become something more than just an interstellar police force, but as symbol of the the inexhaustible potential of willpower and imagination. They represent a light cast over the cold black of space "In brightest day, In blackest night".

I believe in Superman. He is an immigrant from beyond the stars. He is the best of humanity despite not being human. Superman is literally a big blue Boy Scout, and despite internet flame wars and how awesome Batman is Superman is the greatest hero of earth. He was sent here by his father from beyond the stars and has given his life to save the world (sound familiar?). He is the answer to the question "what if God was one of us?"

I believe in Peter Parker. He truly enjoys being a Superhero. Sure he has a lot of teenage angst, but who doesn't?

I believe in the Flash: a man who can run faster than death and yet still slows down to make small talk.

I believe in the X-men. People everywhere are persecuted for being different, whether it's skin color or X-factor.

I believe in Captain America and the ideals of our nation.

I believe in Iron Man and Mr. Fantastic, and the wonders of Science.

I believe in the Spectre and Deadman and the infinite mysteries of God.

I believe in Batman. He's Batman.

I believe in Lois Lane, and the magic of true love.

I believe in Bruce Wayne, and that there is nothing a man cannot accomplish given the time and the effort.

In short, I believe men can fly. I believe that a person can becomes something more than just human. The most important aspect is not the Super or the Bat or the Woman, but the man and the woman. While they may be gods in our eyes or in canon they are innately human. They face the same choices we do with what they can direct their energies towards, and yet these all-powerful beings chose to work towards the betterment of mankind. I believe in a world where we use our powers to aide our fellow man rather than use out strength for personal gain.

There are days when it seems like it's easier to believe that wealthy industrialists will secretly fund vigilante justice than people will be decent to be one another, but I believe in not only humanity, but or potential for super-humanity. For every Lex Luthor there will be an army of Bruce Waynes and Tony Starks to set things right. An international force of heroes will come to the aid of the world to prevent crimes against humanity and relief after natural disasters. Is that to much to ask? I don't believe it is, because I will always believe that anyone can be Super.

The Catyclysm

I try and keep my personal stuff separate from what I write on here. However, given as there is a rather large overlap between video game culture and comic culture (read- two different species in the genus Nerd), I'd like to take a brief moment to talk about World of Warcraft.

WoW is the most successful MMORPG to date, with millions of subscribers who shell out 14.99 a month to play. It's built on the popular Warcraft series, which has a long established continuity and canon, as well as an enormous fan-base. This, of course, all belongs to Blizzard. This group of development geniuses has produced 3 huge titles, with the recent Starcraft 2 being a multimillion copy seller in days, and a professional sport in Korea (the good one in the south).

Not only do they have huge profits from incredible games but they also have an insanely loyal fanbase, to whom they sell comic books, action figures, trading card games, and even steins. STEINS. LET ME REITERATE: THERE IS A WORLD OF WARCRAFT STEIN. These are fanboys of the highest regard. I should know. I was one.

You see, way back in the days before I was this titan of awesome, I played a lot of WoW. I was no casual, to say the least. My main, a Gnome Rogue, was level 80, with around 35 days (840ish hours) of play time. This does not include tens of alts with a day or two on them, as well as my original hunter who had a good 5-7 days (120-168 hours). In short, I wasted a lot of time.

This is not to say it's not fun. It's a great game. Incredible, in fact, with a great world and so much lore you can be lost in it. It appeals to the base desire for progress we all have as well. Getting to the next level is like crack, and getting that bit of binary code that means your character has a new sword that does a whole 20 more fire damage is like winning the lottery. The game trains you subconsciously. It's powerfully addicting.

It also always seems like there are people having more fun that you, and the more you play the more fun you have. You'll see somebody zoom by on a flying mount and just NEED to have one. "That is the coolest thing I have ever seen", you'll say to yourself, and then grind for hours to get the gold to buy some gryphon or wyvern. You'll get it and it's great, and then you'll go back to the grind.

At a point the game stops feeling like a game and more like work. That's when the suck happens. You just grind and grind. Finally you get to the good content and it's all fun again. Then you hit the level cap.

This was the most fun and least fun of the time I played. I found myself stuck between trying to get into dungeons and raids, just waiting to find other people who wanted to kill the same guy as me. I spent more time waiting than playing, which takes a lot of fun out of the game. As a rogue, i was not in demand for raids. Everyone wanted tanks or healers, and I was neither. It was a lonely place for the stealth class.

So, in April of 2009 I quit. I have not regretted the decision to go cold turkey. I don't think that it was a coincidence that my life got a lot better after I stopped playing WoW, but that's another story. I haven't wanted to play at all, but when I'm on stumbleupon late at night and I find myself on a page about World of Warcraft, I find it hard not to care the slightest bit about a new raid or content. I was full on addicted for a while, I admit it, and being reminded about the game always makes me think of how much I enjoyed playing it.

All this new Cataclysm stuff now has gotten me thinking about it. I'm interested to see what they do, but at the same time I don't want to get sucked into that mess again. I know it sounds stupid, after all WoW is just a stupid game, but I got way too deep into that mess. I can still rattle off lore and stats in my head. I can remember lucky item drops or sweet kills. I can also remember being up until three in the morning because I was lonely and bored and angst-ridden.

Cataclysm is like the crappy boyfriend who you've broken up with more times than you can count because, lets be honest he ruined your life, coming back saying "baby, look, I've changed". I want to see if it's better, or if the Barrens looks cooler, or if there are new quests and maybe Gnomes have their city back (it's been YEARS). But, that said, I don't want to get hurt again. I don't want to relapse. I know it's trying to be a new game, but it's also the same old crap.

It was an addiction. It was an unhealthy way for me to avoid problems and pretend to be some lovable rogue hero when in reality I was kind of a jerk who needed therapy more than experience points. Facing that reality was the last thing I wanted to do, and so I found a virtual world to hide in. Some people have drugs, some people have booze, and I had a video game. It sounds so stupid now that I'm actually writing all this down, but back then I bought into that. Even though I had no job and now girlfriend, even though my grades sucked, even though I was not as awesome as I thought I was I had a level 80 rogue with some epic gear. I had slain dragons and saved worlds. So what if I was a C- student?

I look back on a lot of that with regret. I get the feeling I missed out on a lot because I was too busy sitting in front of my laptop playing with strangers. I wasn't even playing with real life friends, as most people do. I was alone. I might have been on a server with ten thousand people in chat, but I was by myself late at night, and that sucked.

It's nice to be a different person now. If this was anything, it was cathartic. I'm not anti-WoW, it's a good game but I'm not for it either, given my experience. I've sworn of MMOs, given as with my history I'd end up having to make a choice between real life and a virtual one. This sucks, as the DC Universe and Lego Universe MMOs look interesting, but I'd rather have a girlfriend than phat lootz any day of the week, month, or year.

A problem

As I've been doing research for my paper, I've come across a few problems. I just want to rant on this for a minute.

There are some very good books on comics. I've referenced Danny Fingeroth a few times, and I just read a very good one called Superheroes: A Modern Mythology. That said, there are a lot of those X and Philosophy books out there that really irk me. The problem is that these books are more topical, and therefore instantly dated the second the are published. For example, a book that talks about Jason Todd's death is no longer applicable, since he didn't die thanks to Superboy-Prime retcon-punching him into existence. Superheroes and Philosophy is from 2005, meaning they don't get Final Crisis or Civil War. They haven't seen The Dark Knight, read Kick-Ass, or Infinite Crisis. Superheroes and Philosophy has a whole chapter on metaphysics and multiverses based on Crisis on Infinite Earths, but all of that is reinvented by the next crisis.

Another thing is how people think Batman is crazy, and that the costume is some sort of bizarre compulsion. False. Batman is not compelled to do this, he wants to. He can stop at any time. He says so in Identity Crisis. That is an important Batman story. If you don't read it, you lack an important perspective.

I just wanted to say that. Comics are a changing universe. Things are never ever concrete.

Calvin: Boy Wonder

I saw a comic called Calvin Minus Hobbes a while back and it got me thinking about the general theme of Calvin and Hobbes: imagination and childhood. It's a comic that has been lauded for it's philosophical and whimsical nature, as well as just how hilarious it is. I would say it's the best comic of all time. It is pure and beautiful.

Sorry. Fanboy moment. I'll try to keep them to a minimum.

The real debate about Calvin and Hobbes is if Hobbes is actually real. Is he an actual tiger or is he a figment of Calvin's imagination? Are the crazy things Calvin does (going back in time, transmogrifying, going to mars, etc) real or are they simply the fantasy of an obviously lonely young boy.

It doesn't really matter, because all these things are real to Calvin. Calvin believes Hobbes is real and that they have wacky adventures. Calvin may or may not have serious mental and social issues, but that's not the issue at hand. What's incredible about this strip is just the sheer power of imagination. When you read Calvin and Hobbes it's very easy to forget that Calvin is only six and that the stuffed tiger is just that. It's an odd place to find depth and meaning, and yet never seems out of place.

But again, not the issue. What I keep coming back to is just the crazy imagination of Calvin. I think about playing with my legos when I was a kid (read: last week) and never came up with anything like that. Calvin does not have a lot to work with. He has a tiger and his head. He has very generic education-minded parents who did not want him to rot his brain with things like cable tv. Calvin has crafted a world for himself that is pure fantasy and unadulterated awesome.

It's a good lessons for kids today who grow up with thousands of action figures that talk for them, shrieking video games, and hundreds of channels. That kills the imagination. Why write a story when one is written for you? Calvin is a kid who is 100% imagination. Granted, a child psychologist might diagnose him with ADHD or ADD, but those people are cynics. Calvin just loves to pretend, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Bringin' this back to the start. Calvin minus Hobbes is a rather douche-baggian view, one that we seem to love to have, which sucks all the fun out of the wonder of childhood. I know that's the point, but I'll be damned if I like it. I refuse to be cynical on this. Hobbes may be a stuffed tiger, but if he's real to Calvin, he's real to me.